Regarding break-in, I would stick EXACTLY to what your INSTALLER says. He's the guy doing the work and performing warranty repairs should there need any. There are tons of gear "break-in" procedures and it seems they all vary by who is installing them. Regardless of what you've heard elsewhere, who says to do what which way, ultimately the guy who installs them is the one you need to listen to regarding break-in. If you don't do it his way, he likely won't warranty them if they fail. This is one area I play by the rules and do as I'm told. Some guys "break-in" is drive it like you stole it from the get go. Some say it's not needed at all, others have very strict procedures involving driving certain mph for x amount of time then let it cool sufficiently and repeat cycle over x amount of miles, then swap at 500 or 1000 or whatever... There is no RIGHT way to do this, just what your installer recommends.
On oils, huge can of worms there and tons of compost to sift through. As RP was mentioned above, I will agree I've been running this throughout my rig since my original OPDG failure at under 1000 miles. I run RP Syncromax in tranny and t-case, have been running RP 10w30 in engine but due to higher ZDDP levels in 10w40, I'm switching that in shortly. In the diff's I run RP max gear 85w140 due to my wheeling and towing which tend to work things more than standard highway driving. Works great with both my factory front locker and ARB in the rear, very smooth, very quiet and no issues thus far. Some will argue the price makes it tough to swallow and I agree, but the local boys here buy it by the pallet for the race track so we get good discounts buying a full case of stuff. For me, it's about the same as every other synthetic out there and cheaper than a few. Do what your gear guy says on install and when you flush and swap to regular fluid, run what you feel comfortable with. As to change intervals, I change mine when needed. That means if I run through deep water, I change it out. If I'm towing hard more than normal, I change it earlier. Same for tranny and t-case. DC says it's a lifetime fluid in the tranny-mine was near empty when I changed it from stock. I change it often too. Peace of mind and swapping fluids out early are cheap insurance to help avoid costly larger repairs-especially if water is in play.
Best of Luck,
Mike